What to Expect at a Chinese Wedding: Red Envelopes, Banquets, and Games

Short Answer

Chinese wedding banquet table with red decorations

A Chinese wedding banquet featuring red decorations, symbolizing luck and prosperity

Deep Dive

The Red Envelope (红包)

• What it is: A red envelope containing cash, given to the couple as a wedding gift. The amount depends on your relationship to the couple and your financial situation.
• How much: Close friends and family typically give 600-2000 yuan. Colleagues and acquaintances might give 200-600 yuan. The amount should always be an even number and avoid the number 4 (which sounds like "death" in Chinese).
• When to give: Present the red envelope when you arrive at the banquet, usually at a reception desk near the entrance. Write your name on the envelope so the couple knows who gave it.
• Currency: Always use new, crisp bills. Wrinkled or old bills are considered disrespectful.
• Digital red envelopes: In modern China, WeChat red envelopes are increasingly common, but physical envelopes are still preferred at weddings.

The Wedding Banquet

• Timing: Wedding banquets typically start in the evening, around 6 PM. Guests arrive early to socialize and give red envelopes.
• Venue: Most banquets are held in hotel ballrooms or dedicated wedding venues. The number of tables indicates the family's social standing and wealth.
• Seating: Tables seat 8-12 people. You will be assigned to a table based on your relationship to the couple. The family tables are closest to the stage.
• The meal: A Chinese wedding banquet typically has 8-12 courses, including cold appetizers, seafood, meat dishes, soup, noodles (for longevity), and dessert. The food is extravagant and plentiful.
• Toasting: The couple will visit each table to toast with guests. Be prepared to drink (usually baijiu or wine) and offer your congratulations.

The Ceremony

• Western-style elements: Many modern Chinese weddings incorporate Western elements like a white wedding dress, walking down the aisle, and exchanging vows.
• Traditional elements: Some couples include traditional Chinese elements like the tea ceremony (serving tea to elders), bowing to heaven and earth, and wearing traditional red clothing (秀禾服).
• MC/host: A professional MC guides the entire event, including the ceremony, games, and toasts. They are often entertaining and humorous.

Wedding Games

• Shoe finding: The groom must find the bride's hidden shoe before the ceremony.
• Door games (闹新房): The groom must complete challenges set by the bridesmaids before he can see the bride. These can range from singing songs to doing push-ups.
• Table games: During the banquet, the MC may organize games at each table, often involving drinking or answering questions about the couple.
• The couple's entrance: The couple often makes a dramatic entrance with music, lighting effects, and sometimes confetti or sparklers.

Dress Code

• Do wear: Bright, festive colors like red, pink, gold, or other warm tones. For women, a nice dress or qipao is appropriate. For men, a suit or dress shirt with slacks.
• Do not wear: White (associated with funerals), all-black outfits (also funeral-associated), or anything too revealing.
• Special consideration: If the bride wears red (traditional), avoid wearing red yourself so you do not upstage her.

What to Say

• 恭喜恭喜 (gōngxǐ gōngxǐ): Congratulations
• 百年好合 (bǎinián hǎo hé): A hundred years of happiness together
• 早生贵子 (zǎo shēng guìzǐ): May you have a child soon (traditional but some modern couples may find this presumptuous)
• 新婚快乐 (xīnhūn kuàilè): Happy wedding

Things to Avoid

• Do not wear white or all-black.
• Do not give clocks as gifts (送钟 sounds like "attending a funeral").
• Do not mention divorce or past relationships.
• Do not leave before the dessert course; it is considered rude.
• Do not count the money in your red envelope in front of others.